The News Week 2

Charlie’s Cheaters 141.75

Shortfall 97.05

Well, Chuck got 226 points in two weeks from cheating Patriots to date. This week, he got 64 points. Ironic that he used those points to stall the ‘bus. Seeing how Jeff is a Pats fan, it must be somewhat bittersweet. Isaac Bruce and Frank Gore put up great numbers too this week, but all Muhaw sees is the Patriot contingent, if you’ve been following the posts. Antionio Gates, Willis McGahee, and Travis Henry put up decent numbers for the ‘bus, but not nearly enough. The Wrath steamrolls its second victim.

Juice’s Browns 144.85

Ground Chuck Zeros 105.60

It’s not necessarily putting down the Seahawks, but this picture does illustrate the class of typical Browns fans. And Juice did pretty much just give Skam the bird this weekend. Steve Smith’s 39.3 points was particularly noteworthy, but his whole team showed up. I especially loved the Smith TD off the tip. Skam didn’t have a bad week, but just came up short. Like the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. And in the last two weeks. (Super Bowl references never get old)

O’Doyle Rules Again 138.20

Danza’s Dreck 114.95

Two Eagle fans. No Eagles involved. Oh well. There’s no way around it Edwards is the spawn of the devil. Being a Michigan alumnus and Cleveland Brown are definite clues. Besides, how else do you explain a performance like that if he didn’t have ties to the unholy? 29.6 points. If were Holt or Smith I wouldn’t think twice. Jeez. Anyway, Marion Barber’s 2 TD’s really helped the O’Doyle cause. And even if Peyton phoned it in this week and Fast Willie and Dallas Clark put up great numbers, Eric couldn’t stop Ryan.

Bloomfield Bengles 146.35

G String 143.85

Palmer threw 401 yards and six touchdowns. Once again, Palmer threw 401 yards and a team-record six touchdowns. What is it with Muhaw and his QB’s? Last week it was Romo’s 52.35 points. Last year it was McNabb accounting for 45% of his scoring. What else can you say? He has a 6^th sense with his QB’s. Well, this was an old fashioned shootout. G, he has WR’s we get it. But now Kitna’s concussed. Can the unit rely on WR’s to carry the load every week? Stay tuned. It must be a real kick in the balls to put up 143 points and lose.

Player Haters 131.70

Columbus Bowdowners 96.20

There’s not much to say. I can sum this one up in one sentence. Warrick Dunn outplayed LaDanian Tomlinson. Note this one for the history books. Is it more likely that LT stinks or that New England’s defense cheated? You decide. Drew also benefited from Chicago’s feasting on the KC Chiefs. I think Notre Dame’s offense looks better than KC these days. Andy, a tip: two off weeks isn’t nearly enough to make me trade Steven Jackson for Ahman Green.

Nigerian Painkiller 126.00

The Steel Curtain 104.60

I guess there is a downside to genius strategic planning. That is being good to a fault. Seeing that the Stillers were facing a weak Bills D, I figured Ben would have a field day. Right I was. So much so that the Stillers didn’t need to pass it much in the second half. Fast Willie was unstoppable. As Homer Simpson once wailed: “Oh boo hoo hoo… WOO HOO!!! Boo hoo hoo… WOO HOO!!!” Further complicating matters was the fact that the Seahawks suck. Edgerrin James put up 128 yards and a TD. Nothing like a game against Seattle to make a guy look like a Pro Bowler again. The News is also investigating Brett Favre’s possible relapse into painkiller addiction. An anonymous source in the Nightmare locker room has come forward with the information. It seems he needed a little “boost” to take on the ‘Curtain. More news